


Prima Facie (The Exit Strategy Remix)

by sunspeared



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Legal Drama, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-16
Updated: 2013-03-16
Packaged: 2017-12-05 10:37:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/722097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunspeared/pseuds/sunspeared
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neophyte Terezi Pyrope is out for blood; Rose Lalonde, Esq., is out for her next paycheck. It <i>should</i> be a simple murder trial.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Prima Facie (The Exit Strategy Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [magicites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicites/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Rose Lalonde: Space Attorney](https://archiveofourown.org/works/612214) by [magicites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicites/pseuds/magicites). 



> _I long ago stopped dreaming of pure justice, your honor --_   
>  _my crime was to believe we could make cruelty obsolete._

Terezi was the Empire, as far as the quaking human guard she'd left at the door knew, and the Empire wanted to see a condemned rustblood. The Empire got what the Empire wanted. But the brig's security was hilarious! There was not a single psionic damper. The wiring wasn't reinforced to withstand being ripped from the walls. Aradia Megido could have walked out the front door if she'd put even a quarter of her mind to it; but on a space station, it would have been a short walk.

Her nose was always jittery the first few hours on-station. Base 229-40 was a border outpost, and it stank of human, skin flakes and shed hair in the air ducts, roasting synthmeat, plants for food and not for oxygen. She passed an unaccompanied human in the corridor: female, light hair, expensive Earth-made clothing. Linen and cotton. She could identify the perfume, too, and the smell of paper books on the human's fingers (a rare and expensive indulgence) and the metal of the rings the human wore (silver). 

The brig's guards hadn't had a chance to clear the human visitor's stool away, and it was a bit too close to the bars for comfort, but Terezi would not be seen pulling it away. It had three legs instead of the Alternian four. She set her swordcane across her knees, sharp edge facing outward. Aradia wouldn't notice or appreciate the gesture; Aradia didn't think that way. Aradia pressed her cheek to the smooth metal side of the cell's recuperacoon, waiting.

"You're not here to kill me," Aradia said. Chains! On a psionic. Terezi would have them all executed for gross negligence, if she were that sort of legislacerator, and if her jurisdiction extended to the humans who no doubt ran this brig. 

"Quit pretending you can read my mind," Terezi said, "when we both know you can't."

"It really wasn't a hard guess," said Aradia. "It works on the humans."

"Which is why your cell hasn't been cleaned in" -- Terezi made a production of taking a whiff of it -- "three days?"

"We're not here to talk about my hygiene."

"No," Terezi said. "We're not." 

"And you're not here to tell me this was all a great big mistake and I'm being released?"

"No."

"You killed Vriska," Terezi said, at last. "She put up a struggle. Your blood was found at the crime scene."

"Vriska killed Tavros," Aradia said. "He put up a struggle. Her blood was found at the crime scene, but it wasn't a crime scene, it was an inconvenience. Do you know how she did it?" 

No change in the tone of her voice, no detectable tremors, and she didn't smell like any emotion in particular. This wasn't an interrogation, Terezi reminded herself, it was an evaluation of the witness's frame of mind. "She stabbed him with his own lance," she said.

"And then she threw him down a flight of stairs," Aradia said. "Don't forget. That's very important. They had him cleaned up and disposed of within an hour, because that's the way things are." 

"And you were righting that wrong," Terezi said. "And you can't forget the Sollux Captor incident, of course! You had ample motive."

"Don't you ever," Aradia said, "pretend you don't know Sollux." 

Terezi bared her teeth. "I would never."

"But we're not talking about him. We can, if you want. I'm not going anywhere."

"Let's talk about Vriska," Terezi said. 

"Aren't you glad she's dead?"

"It doesn't matter what I feel."

"But you do!" Aradia said, with more heat in her voice than Terezi had heard since that day five sweeps ago. "Feel. And you're going to sentence me to death for killing her."

"I'm going to _have you_ sentenced to death."

"You're doing your job."

"And you were doing yours?"

"I never said that." Aradia shrugged. The movements of the air currents in this confined space felt suspiciously purposeful, but they weren't cause for alarm yet. "You hunted Vriska. Vriska killed Tavros to draw you in. I killed Vriska. You'll kill me. It's a lot simpler than the first time we did this, don't you think?"

She sounded almost happy about the geometry of it, and the worst part was that she was right! Crazy, but absolutely correct. Last time, Tavros lost his legs, Vriska lost an arm, Terezi lost her sight, Sollux lost his freedom, and Aradia lost her mind. This time, everyone had killed who they wanted to kill. With Sollux out of the picture, neither she nor Vriska had factored Aradia into their plans, but that was only a small hurdle. Terezi would close the loop and end the affair cleanly, without any childish maimings or loose ends. 

"You were always meant to be the only one standing," Aradia said. 

"You can't see the future, either," Terezi said. 

Aradia pointed at the ceiling. " _They_ can." 

"The spirits," Terezi said. 

"They've always been with you," Aradia said. "and now they're with me. I've never seen you in action, but they know just how good you are -- the ones you tracked, the ones you caught, the ones you killed. You'll win this case, just like you won all the others. You could have stopped Vriska before she ever hurt anyone."

"She was slippery!" 

"You liked the chase. You liked your games. She used to show off the scar you gave her, on that ice planet, the one on her -- "

"I know where the scar was," Terezi said. There was no point in trying not to bristle, and there was no point in asking whether Aradia had seen that scar with her own two eyes, or if Vriska's ghost had told her about it, or if Vriska's ghost was in the room laughing at the two of them. If Aradia had seen the scar in person -- "Just how did you get close enough to Vriska to kill her?" she asked, ignoring the twist in her stomach.

Ostensibly, Aradia did nothing: nothing that would have been perceptible to the eye, and not to Terezi's nose, either. She was simply _not there,_ withdrawn so far into whatever shell she'd constructed that she disappeared. "It doesn't matter, because she's dead," Aradia said, at last. Her giggle was edgy and tightrope-high. "So am I. But I'm still breathing, aren't I?"

*

TT: Is this a secure line?  
TA: ii don't know, ii2 thii2 the kiind of 2hiitty 2tory where people 2ay thiing2 liike that?  
TA: anyway there'2 no 2uch thiing a2 a 2ecure liine, but no one'2 goiing two eave2drop on u2 wiithout me knowiing, 2o don't worry your adequate thiinkpan.  
TT: Adequate! Are we abasing ourselves before my thinkpan's volume, or its contents?  
TA: iit2 content2. are you happy?  
TT: We will, for the moment, consider ourselves appeased, but not enough to give you a discount.  
TT: I saw Aradia today. She refuses to deny her guilt, and if she's not going to deny it, I can't spin this as a frame job.  
TA: iit wa2 worth a 2hot.  
TT: I don't know how you got the Heiress to agree to be a witness, but thank you.  
TA: you owe me one.  
TT: Or else I wouldn't be taking a case this stupid and hopeless, no matter how much you were paying me.  
TA: oh plea2e you love iit. 2he owe2 me TWO.  
TT: I won't ask.  
TA: good plan. wa2 aa ok?  
TT: They're feeding her. She seems cheerful.  
TA: great, that'2 2o rea22uriing!!!  
TT: I charge by the hour for reassurance, and I passed the legislacerator prosecuting the case on my way out.  
TA: who wa2 iit?  
TT: A certain local celebrity.  
TA: fuck.  
TT: Is that all you have to say?  
TA: double fuck.  
TT: Much more in character. I could get you in to see Aradia, you know. It wouldn't be hard.  
TA: don't worry about iit. iif the pro2ecutiion get2 a whiiff that ii'm iinvolved, iit'2 all going two go pear-2haped.  
TA: liike the ca2e ii2 a fruiit arrangement, and ii'm a rogue duriian.  
TT: I still can't believe you people have fruit arrangements.  
TA: objectiion. what kiind of awful ciiviilizatiion wouldn't iinvent fruiit arrangement2?  
TT: Yes, yes. Why can't anyone know you're involved?  
TA: look up 'aranea 2erket.'  
TT: I know who the witnesses for the prosecution are.  
TA: actually no ii'm ju2t goiing two 2end you 2omethiing 2uper cla22iifiied, iif anyone know2 you have iit you're dead. the u2ual.  
TT: The usual.

\-- TA 2ent you a fiile! --

TA: iit'2 2ome 2eriiou2ly 2cary 2hiit. you'll be the only one iin that courtroom who2e miind 2he won't be able two read.   
TA: that'2 why ii hiired you iinstead of the miilliion other legii2lacerator2 who'd take the case for free, ju2t two match wiit2 against terezii pyrope.   
TA: and look at the tiime, ii have two get two work now.   
TA: you're goiing two want two liie two aa and 2ay ii 2end my regard2.  
TA: don't.

*

Aranea Serket descended on Terezi's borrowed office dressed in mourning white. She was harsh and astringent to the nose. Someone a few hundred sweeps younger would have been enraged to the point of being a danger to themselves and everyone around them. Aranea pulled Terezi into her arms, and her body language only seemed a little bit tired, a little bit worn around her neat edges. 

The witnesses were a formality, even in those border sectors, neither Terran nor Alternian, where humans who found troll law unpalatable had imposed their idea of justice on the shared courts. Terezi already had her _wall_. John Egbert had been closer to Vriska than anyone except maybe the trolls whose intestines she'd pulled out, but he was nearly worthless for Terezi's purposes and worse for the defense's. 

"The Heiress just docked on-station," Aranea said, stroking Terezi's hair. "It was impossible to get here. I still haven't agreed to go through with this, Terezi."

Terezi took a deep breath, taking in the stale space travel scent underneath the white of Aranea's clothes. It was better not to hide how she felt. Let her pick up that trail of breadcrumbs: from righteous anger to _you look just like Vriska_ to _but you're not her_ to chest-tightening grief, all the better to get her on the witness stand. It was the horns. It didn't help that Terezi couldn't see them. 

"You came all this way," said Terezi, "you wouldn't come all this way if you didn't mean to do something."

"You want justice." Aranea let Terezi go before Terezi's shoulders started to shake and sat primly on the only other clear surface in the room, a metal side-table. Only her straight back betrayed that she'd once been military. "I could walk into the holding cells right now and mindburn this Aradia. It would be merciful and perfectly legal, and much more direct than what you're planning. Don't say you haven't considered asking me to do it. Don't tell me anything you don't believe."

"Fine," Terezi said, and stood to look out the sliver of viewport she'd been afforded. It put her back to Aranea, as much to show she wasn't frightened as for dramatic effect. Aranea was innately susceptible to dramatic effect. "My way is _right._ " 

"Right, or correct?"

"Both!" Terezi said. "And if there's any substantial difference--"

"Vriska was mine," Aranea said, with a quiet force that would have shaken the walls, had she been a different sort of psionic. Terezi turned around slowly, holding her cane in front of her with the sharp edge facing outward and doing her best to ignore the hairs standing up at the base of her neck. "She was my genetic twin. Do you have any idea what that means?"

"You pulled strings to keep me from being culled so you'd have someone to keep an eye on Vriska."

If Aranea was surprised Terezi knew, it didn't show. Aranea was never surprised. "I always thought you'd be the one to do the killing," she said fondly. 

"And you would have been fine with that!"

"If anyone was going to stop her, it should have been you--but I'm happy it wasn't you. You two always needed each other."

"Vriska needs me now."

"Oh, Neophyte Pyrope." Aranea stood and took Terezi's face softly in her small, soft hands, and kissed her forehead. Kindliness was the prerogative of very old trolls, and it was a privilege paid for with a great deal of blood, very little of it their own. The tension headache that had been pulling at Terezi's temples since the start of the station's working hours disappeared, replaced by a peace that wasn't serenity, but battle-readiness. "Vriska is dead," said Aranea. "She doesn't _need_. Only the living need."

"I need this," Terezi said, because Aranea wanted her to; she couldn't tell whether the words were forced out of her, or if she'd wanted to say it, too. Aranea never asked before walking into someone's mind. It had made her the perfect interrogator, and made her perfect for the witness stand: the defense legislacerator wouldn't be able to hide their intentions, no matter how clever their strategy was. 

"Let the young ride out to fight," Aranea said, patting Terezi's cheek. "Let the young avenge the young."

*

TT: I've been up all species-neutral-designated-station-sleeping-period thinking about this.  
TT: It's obvious, isn't it?  
TT: There's no way to get Aradia off the hook. She killed a highblood, and nothing we bring to that courtblock can get around that.  
TT: Pyrope is out for vengeance, so we have to make her throw the case. We have to shatter her focus. We are necessitated to break her. It's her style, not mine, but it'll have to do.  
TA: that'2 2iickeniing. 2he'2 one of my olde2t friiend2.  
TA: ii knew there wa2 a rea2on ii hiired you, you ruthle22 fuck.  
TT: Are you sure it's not because I'm the best at what I do? ;)  
TA: you don't let me forget iit for more than two 2econd2.  
TT: ;)  
TA: 2ee. thii2 2hiit you're doiing now, thii2 ii2 the maniipulatiive 2hiit ii wa2 talkiing about.  
TA: iit'2 not anywhere near a2 endeariing a2 you probably thiink.  
TA: liike, ok. you 2aiid 2omethiing fucked up, but hey, there'2 a cute face!  
TA: my heart ju2t fuckiing melted.  
TA: 2o what can ii do two help.  
TT: This would be so much easier if we could meet in person.  
TA: iimpo22iible.  
TA: well ok techniically ii'm on the 2tatiion wiith you, ii came iin wiith her unrelentiing pre2umptiion.  
TT: Then I don't see what the problem is. Come to my office. I'm not sure there's enough space for two people in here, but we'll make due.  
TA: no you don't get iit, ii'm iin all the 2ecuriity 2y2tems, the liife 2upport, the comm2, everythiing.  
TA: and ii could take control of the whole place riight now iif ii thought iit would do you or aa any good.  
TT: You're the Heiress's personal hacker?  
TA: no, dumba22.  
TA: ii'm her 2hiip.

*

THE ALTERNIAN EMPIRE

v.

ARADIA MEGIDO

no. 11-10362

Beta Cassiopeiae  
Star Base 229-40  
[DATE REDACTED]  


The above-entitled matter came on for oral  
argument before the Cruelest Bar  
at [TIME REDACTED].

APPEARANCES

  
TEREZI PYROPE, Neophyte of the League of Legislacerators; on behalf of the Empire.

ROSE LALONDE, ESQ., Titan [Translator's note: تيتان, 土卫六, טיטאן] Station; on behalf of the Defendant.

SELECTED PROCEEDINGS

 

_ TESTIMONY OF THE PRINCESS OF WHALES, HER UNRELENTING PRESUMPTION, FEFERI PEIXES _  


PYROPE: HOW D1D YOU KNOW TH3 V1CT1M, YOUR PR3SUMPT1ON?  
PEIXES: Well, we were good fronds.  
PYROPE: 4ND DO YOU KNOW TH3 D3F3ND4NT?  
PEIXES: A little. Mostly t)(roug)( Vriska, and anot)(er frond of mine. My best frond.  
PYROPE: HOW WOULD YOU D3SCR1B3 TH31R R3L4T1ONSH1P?  
PEIXES: They )(aven't been on good terms for a W)(IL----E! Not since Vriska krilled Tavros. I don't know w)(y the s)(ell s)(e did it, it just )(appened out of t)(e blue one day.  
PYROPE: NO FURTH3R QU3ST1ONS, YOUR TYR4NNY.

LALONDE: Would you call Aradia Megido a violent individual?  
PEIXES: Of course not, s)(e'd )(elp out any poor troll w)(o came to )(er.  
LALONDE: Did Vriska Serket hate her?  
PEIXES: You never knew Vriska. I don't reely think she )(ated anyone.  
LALONDE: All right. Let me rephrase. Did she ever try to murder my client?   
PEIXES: Not t)(at I know of! Maybe. I wouldn't )(ave put it past )(er. T)(ey were bot)( )(ard to krill, is t)(e problem. Even I would )(ave )(ad a )(ard time bringing Vriska down if s)(e was ready and waiting for me!   
LALONDE: And I imagine you've killed plenty of trolls, of all kinds of blood colors.  
PEIXES: It's )(ard, being t)(e )(eiress.  
LALONDE: And no one understands. So would a mere rustblood, in possession of nothing but telekinesis and a kind heart, been able to do so?  
PEIXES: Probably not, if you ask me.

*

_TESTIMONY OF MR. JOHN EGBERT_   


EGBERT: vriska was pretty intense!  
PYROPE: 1'M 4FR41D YOU'LL H4V3 TO B3 MOR3 SP3C1F1C  
EGBERT: really super intense.  
PYROPE: B3TT3R! 4ND YOU W3R3 TH3 ON3 WHO D1SCOV3R3D TH3 V1CT1M'S CORPS3 D1R3CTLY 4FT3R TH3 MURD3R? WHEN SH3 W4S, 1N YOUR OWN WORDS, "ST1LL W4RM"  
EGBERT: yeah.  
PYROPE: PL34S3 D3SCR1B3 TH3 SC3N3 OF TH3 CR1M3, MR 3GB3RT  
EGBERT: ok. jeez, it was awful... i found her in one of the alleyways she liked to use for, you know, stuff, because it was my birthday and i wanted to spend it with her. whoever it was smashed her mechanical arm to pieces, and there was blue blood everywhere.  
PYROPE: WH4T K1ND OF BLU3 BLOOD?  
EGBERT: her kind of blue blood, duh! it was really fresh, too. all over the place.  
PYROPE: 4ND W3R3 TH3R3 4NY OTH3R K1NDS OF BLOOD?  
EGBERT: i saw a little bit of reddish blood, but not a lot.  
PYROPE: R3DD1SH  
EGBERT: too dark to be a human's blood.  
PYROPE: PL34S3 LOOK 4T TH3 D3F3ND4NT, M1ST3R 3GB3RT. D3SCR1B3 4N 4RT1CL3 OF H3R CLOTH1NG FOR M3  
EGBERT: she's wearing a black shirt with a red symbol on it.  
PYROPE: 4ND 1S TH4T COLOR F4M1L14R?  
EGBERT: it's the same color as the blood i saw near vriska. is that all?  
PYROPE: TH4T'S 4LL, M1ST3R 3GB3RT. TH4NK YOU. YOU D1D W3LL.

*

_ TESTIMONY OF MAJ. ARANEA SERKET, FORMER OFFICER OF [REDACTED] _  


LALONDE: You say that Vriska was your relative. For trolls, that means you share a common ancestor, yes?  
SERKET: Yes, we --  
LALONDE: How common would you say that is?  
SERKET: Not common at all. I know of two other trolls who met their fellow descendants, 8ut they were 8oth seadwellers, and they 8oth decided to kill their --  
LALONDE: But you chose to let Vriska live. Why?  
SERKET: 8ecause she was only a wiggler. She'd never done anything to me, and 8esides, our ancestor's diary came to her. I was curious, 8ut I thought it would be easier to ask her for it than to go to the trouble of murdering her. A gr8 spider mother had already turned her into a fine young lady 8y the time I found her.  
LALONDE: And this ancestor of yours was the Marquise Spinneret Mindfang, a notorious pirate. But here you sit, a decorated retired officer, honorably discharged from the imperial service. Would you say that blood will out? In your case, it didn't. For the most part.  
SERKET: We 8oth take after our ancestor, 8ut in different ways. For example --  
LALONDE: Vriska was more overtly violent. As you lived with her, would you say that you were familiar with her associates?  
SERKET: They were scum. Every last one of them! A8solute scum.  
LALONDE: Thieves, extortionists, arsonists. And did Vriska ever argue with them?  
SERKET: 8ll the t8me!  
LALONDE: She got into fights with them.  
SERKET: C8nst8ntly! One time I h8d to patch h8r up --  
LALONDE: Would you admit the possibility that one of these associates killed her?  
SERKET: I think that's likely.

PYROPE: M4JOR S3RK3T. TO YOUR KNOWL3DG3, W4S TH3 D3C34S3D W1TH 4NY OF TH3S3 V1L3 CR1M1N4L 3L3M3NTS ON TH3 N1GHT OF H3R MURD3R?  
SERKET: No.

*

TT: Half-hour recess.  
TA: don't worry, ii'm following along. tz'2 2tiill iin the courtblock.  
TT: I didn't even know this was being recorded.  
TA: of cour2e iit'2 beiing recorded, diip2hiit. ii'm piiggybackiing off the autotran2criipt program'2 feed.  
TA: whatever you're goiing two do, you'd better do iit quiick.  
TT: Terezi will follow me here, don't worry. I need fifteen minutes alone with her.  
TA: cool. doe2 aa 2eem 2tre22ed?  
TT: She's fine. I'll take care of her.  
TA: that'2 not what ii a2ked you.  
TT: Sollux, she wants to die. She honestly wants to die.  
TT: We could just let this run its course. It's not up to us.  
TA: how about no.  
TA: ii'm not lettiing her commiit 2uiiciide by legii2lacerator ju2t two deal wiith 2ome unfiinii2hed bu2iine22 from when we were grub2 or whatever.  
TA: let alone 2uiiciide by tz.  
TT: You have to be prepared for the possibility that I may lose this case.  
TA: but you're not goiing two lo2e.  
TT: No.

*

The Human Empire had settled its territorial disputes with Alternia not by attrition, but by export. 229-40 imported its coffee all the way from Earth itself. The smell was unmistakable, and cut through the blood-stench coming off of His Honorable Tyranny and the well-armed bailiff, whose gun was trained steadily on Aradia despite the suppressant drugs she’d been fed; it took Terezi all of a minute to find Lalonde. Lalonde started and shoved something into her skirt pocket, as if hiding it from a blind troll would do anything. It smelled like the dull, caged current of a quantum battery-powered device: a datapad, or a comm.

"I know who you are," Terezi said, setting the detail aside for the moment. "At first I thought -- 'Who is this human in my courtblock, and why does it know so much?' It was very nice of you to spread rumors about your inexperience, but not necessary. You have access to privileged information, if you know who Spinneret Mindfang was! I didn't recognize your name, but Aranea did."

"Oh, goodness," Rose said, "a peek inside the mind of the Perseus Arm's finest legislacerator. Go on, I'm sure you're not through dazzling me." 

"Aranea knows everything, of course, and she does not let anyone forget it for even a second! She remembered an intelligence report on a young mercenary lawyer, from -- what do humans call it? The Sagittarius Arm. The other side of the galaxy! The Cruellest Bar finds you in contempt of every one of its ideals."

"'Mercenary' is such an ugly word," Rose said. "I'm a traveling rhetorician. I also write books, but you're not calling me a -- "

"You're nothing but hired help," Terezi said.

"That," Rose said, "is very unkind of you. And you would think that I'd have the greater motivation to win, on account of my paycheck, but it's obvious you had feelings for the deceased -- she could outrun you, but could she keep up with you? By all accounts, she was more cunning than intelligent. But you were the only person who could handle her, as it were." She put her feeble, long-fingered hand on Terezi's shoulder and stroked her thumb down over the line of it. "Vriska was your burden." 

"That's not going to work."

Rose withdrew her hand. "I'm human," she said. "I don't have caliginous feelings, but you do. I can't be faulted for taking an opening."

"Who's paying your fees?" 

"I maintain the strictest confidentiality for my clients and their benefactors -- "

"Your ruinously expensive fees," Terezi clarified, speaking very slowly, in case Rose wanted to play dumb with her. "You didn't take the case pro bono, did you? Out of the goodness of your heart? A poor rustblood, used as some highblood's patsy, cruelly let down by the system she trusted!"

"She did it." Rose set her cup of coffee down on the counter and ran her fingers under the collar of her shirt, and there was a precisely zero percent chance that it was an actual nervous gesture. "I know she did it. You know she did it. Let's not pretend otherwise -- nor should we pretend that any troll without blue in their blood honestly trusts the system." 

The Do you? dangled at the end of the sentence, waiting to be picked up and unraveled; as if Terezi would fall into such an obvious trap. "You haven't said who's paying you."

"If I tell you, I don't get paid," Rose said. It absolutely reeked of lie, but Rose continued, "I wrote the contract myself, I'm afraid. There's no getting around it -- and, look, it's time to go, Neophyte Pyrope. We wouldn't want to be eaten by His Tyranny, would we?" 

"I'm going to crush you," Terezi said. 

"Well, I enjoyed our little chat. You're very interesting."

"Not so fast." Terezi brought the head of her cane up, catching Rose on the chin and pinning her to the counter. The sharp edge cut into her collarbone -- not enough to break skin, just enough to make her nervous. "You haven't answered my question! The trial doesn't happen without us."

"I think it's obvious," Rose said, and didn't try to pull away, even though her breathing was shallow. She swallowed hard. "Deduct for me, Sherlock Trollmes. Who in the universe cares enough about this case to pay me?"

"There are plenty of people who want to see me dragged through the mud."

"There's not much mud to be found in this case, I'm afraid."

"The only other person who cares enough about Aradia is comatose and hooked up to wires," Terezi said, shoving her cane up. "He's an engine."

"You'll find," Rose said, "that you're mistaken." 

She seized Terezi's cane and shoved it away from her, but the effort cut her palm. She hissed and clenched her hand into a fist; the blood pooled there, but Terezi did not care one bit about the bright smell on the air. The moment where the puzzle pieces fit together in an investigation was usually dizzying, giddy-making; this only made her feel sick to her stomach.

"Well. You're half right: he's an engine. And he's not very happy with you," Rose went on, gently, before Terezi could speak. "I'm given to understand that the four of you were dear friends, once."

"Five," Terezi said. 

"Oh, yes, Vriska too. My mistake. How on earth do you think I got the Heiress herself to testify as a character witness for a maroonblood, of all things? Not that it does much good, I'm afraid, but I asked for half of my ruinous fee up front, so that when Miss Megido dies I won't leave this place empty-handed." Having deemed it safe to move, Rose reached for a paper towel and squeezed it against the cut. The smell was sharp enough to bring Terezi halfway to her senses. "And now the mystery is solved, and our respective senses of melodrama satisfied. Are we finished? His Tyranny's patience must be running thin."

"I'll be along," Terezi said. She gestured with her cane, and could smell Rose roll her eyes as she walked out of the room, head held high while she bled into her closed fist. It made flawless sense: that if any helmsman's brain could have survived the mindburning intact, if only from sheer stubbornness, it was Sollux's. He'd always loved Aradia first, and loved her best, in the careful space between flushed and pale. And he was within her reach, so close she could throw herself on the Heiress's endless mercy and beg to see him. 

"The defense," Rose said the moment Terezi walked back into the courtroom, "would like to call Terezi Pyrope to the stand."

*

_ TESTIMONY OF NPYT. TEREZI PYROPE, OF THE LEAGUE OF LEGISLACERATORS _  


LALONDE: You knew Vriska Serket.  
PYROPE: YOU COULD S4Y TH4T 1 KN3W TH3 V1CT1M, Y3S  
LALONDE: Am I the one being questioned here? Not 'the victim.' 'Vriska Serket.'  
PYROPE: Y3S, 1 D1D KNOW VR1SKA  
LALONDE: You were close to her.  
PYROPE: Y3S  
LALONDE: You cared about her.  
PYROPE: SH3 W4S NOTH1NG BUT TROUBL3!  
LALONDE: She was important to you.  
PYROPE: TOO 1MPORT4NT NOT TO NOT1C3. WOULD YOU 1GNOR3 4 TUMOR, L4LOND3?  
LALONDE: You've spent a great deal of your storied career trying to track her down, but you've never caught her.  
PYROPE: SH3 N3V3R ST4Y3D 1N ON3 PL4C3 FOR V3RY LONG! 1 WOULD H4V3 B33N STUP1D TO TRY TO N4B H3R 1N S3RK3T TH3 3LDER'S HOUS3  
LALONDE: You've known her since you were a wriggler.  
PYROPE: W1GGL3R. 4ND Y3S! 1 F41L TO S33 HOW TH1S 1S R3L3V4NT  
LALONDE: You didn't want her to die.  
PYROPE: NOT UNL3SS 1T W4S BY MY H4NDS  
LALONDE: You know my client as well. You knew her before this trial, and you knew her well enough to know her and her acquaintances by name. But you took the case. In fact, you took the case immediately. You were upset, I take it.  
PYROPE: TH4T 1S NOT 4N UNR34SON4BL3 CONCLUS1ON  
LALONDE: You want Aradia to be guilty.  
PYROPE: 1 WOULDN'T B3 4 V3RY GOOD L3G1SL4C3R4TOR 1F 1 D1DN'T!  
LALONDE: You're willing to go to great lengths to win this case.  
PYROPE: 1 DO MY DUTY, L4LOND3  
LALONDE: Your duty?  
PYROPE: TO W1N TH1S C4S3 BY 4NY M34NS N3C3SS4RY  
LALONDE: And then what?  
PYROPE: OBJ3CT1ON, YOUR TYR4NNY  
LALONDE: A witness doesn't get to object. Answer the question.  
PYROPE: NOTH1NG H4PP3NS! 1 K33P GO1NG!  
LALONDE: You may step down. The defense rests.

*

_ TESTIMONY OF ARADIA MEGIDO _  


PYROPE: YOU K1LL3D VR1SK4 S3RK3T  
MEGIDO: yes  
PYROPE: WHY D1D YOU K1LL VR1SK4 S3RK3T?  
MEGIDO: because i c0uldnt let her g0 unpunished  
PYROPE: FOR?  
MEGIDO: the killing 0f tavr0s nitram  
PYROPE: 4 K1LL1NG WH1CH W4S P3RF3CTLY L3G4L! 4 CULL1NG, 1F YOU W1LL. N1TR4M W4S UN4BL3 TO W4LK. TH3 PROS3CUT1ON R3STS.

*

CLOSING ARGUMENTS   


LALONDE: As the Cruelest Bar's unique and ingenious interpretation of the Terran legal system has far less stringent requirements for verifiable evidence, I will ask this court to indulge me when I say: this entire case stinks. There can be no doubt in anyone's proverbial thinkpan that Aradia Megido killed Vriska Serket. Her blood was at the scene of the crime, if Mr. John Egbert's testimony is to be believed without any corroborating photographs. But I would like to express my doubt that a troll resourceful enough to murder a highblood -- only just barely a highblood, though I'm sure her blood was blue enough when she bled -- would not have been resourceful enough to disappear without a trace.

We can absolutely rule out a death wish. Does this look like a troll waiting for her death? The prosecution is, of course, excused from answering this question. 

I think, too, that we can rule out Aradia Megido being a patsy for another highblood with a grudge. But can we, really? Perhaps another troll, higher on the hemospectrum and chronically unable to kill or capture Vriska Serket, took advantage of my client's rage and grief to goad her into using her considerable power to commit the murder. 

However, I understand that of all the tricks available to the profession of our hypothetical troll, the use of assassins is not one of them. Our hypothetical troll finds themselves in a bind: what if Megido, consumed with guilt, turned them over to the authorities for unlawful conduct? When is there to do, then, but turn my client over to the courts themselves to silence her? The defense speculates.

PYROPE: Your Tyranny, I am a legislacerator. I am the best of the best of my brood. My cases are studied in textbooks the Empire over! I am wasted on this trial, and on this pitiful human attorney. I do not latch onto weak theories as last-ditch attempts at planting doubt in the mind of the judge! I don't need to. This case is about one thing and one thing only: the murder of Vriska Serket! Not my ties to her. Not the crimes she committed before her death, which are as numerous as the Empire is vast.

If Her Presumption's testimony is to be believed, why would this mild-natured troll before you allow herself to be driven to the edge by the murder of an acquaintance? A mild-natured, practical troll would know her guilt would be presumed, even in a court run by human lines.

I could ask for this troll to be sentenced to helmsman duty. I could ask for this troll to be mindburned; in fact, I called a witness to this very court who is capable of doing so! These are both fates worse than death. But instead, I ask for this troll's execution -- not because she killed a highblood, but because she is glad she killed a highblood! 

This is the face of a dangerous troll. This is the face of a troll who is proud of her deed. She is either a credit to the ruthlessness of the empire that made her, or a disgrace to the order that empire embodies. She should be allowed to walk free immediately, or culled where she stands.

*

Common wisdom held that indigoblood judges were all insane, reprehensibly stupid, or both. The wisdom was common because it was true! You had to narrow down their options, so that the case was less taxing on their small brains: turn it from a debate into the flip of a coin. Aradia would live or she would die, but at least there was a chance of her living, now.

"If you're lying to me," Terezi said under her breath while the judge huffed and deliberated, "if you looked up Sollux's name and thought you could use him _leverage_ \--" 

"My hand is fine, by the way," Rose said, "thank you for asking." 

"I don't care about your hand! If that's all you have in a real case, I'd destroy you."

"I think that this is about as real as a case can be -- and besides, my closing argument didn't matter. I'd already lost. All that mattered was you, which must be a tremendous boost to your tremendous ego. Besides," Rose said, "you haven't seen my best. Going up against me would be like Christmas, and you know it."

"I'm Jewgish, you hideous bigot." 

"My mistake," Rose said. "Do you think I would lie about something like that?" There was a very good chance that she'd just batted her eyelashes. The effect, imagined or not, was not lost on Terezi.

"I think you've been banned from practicing in three territories by being as good as the legislacerators there."

"And all legislacerators are liars." Rose wiped her cut hand on her skirt. Terezi could still smell the blood, even though Rose had long since stopped bleeding. "If your gambit fails, your old friend doesn't pay me, and FTL travel is so expensive these days."

"I thought you got half your payment up front."

"I lied," Rose said. 

"I think you _care_."

"Not even half as much even as you do," Rose said. The judge cleared his throat, and they to their respective blocks to hear the verdict.

She kept her eye on the clock above the judge's head, rather than the judge himself. Next to her, Aranea was as serene as ever, which said nothing about the verdict -- only that she already knew it, had known it for the past ten minutes, and had accepted it. If Rose was even a little bit trustworthy Sollux was attached to the station, waiting for her, or not.

The bailiff lowered his gun for the first time since the trial started: _not guilty._

"I suppose it's better this way," Aranea said, and that was the end of it. The thing that had made Aranea great and loved in her time was not her power, but her patience and her capacity for forgiveness. It didn't matter that Terezi had failed her, because Terezi hadn't; and Terezi knew full well those thoughts were not her own, and that the calm wasn't, either. 

The Heiress had slipped out of the room. Egbert had pulled Rose off to the side, which left Aradia all alone in the middle of the courtblock. Terezi went to her. There was nothing else to do. "Sollux sent her," she said, reaching for Aradia's shoulder and letting herself miss the mark, once, twice, before she found her mark. Seeing trolls found that endearing. "She's almost as good as I am."

"He didn't ask me what I wanted," Aradia said. She sounded calm. The judge's platform shook, but it was too heavy for her to lift. "He didn't even tell her to say hello."

"Because if I'd sensed you were hiding something, I would have torn it out of you," Aranea said, elbowing Terezi out of the way and taking one of Aradia's hands in both of hers. "And that would have ruined the surprise. For such a skilled telekinetic, the walls in your head aren't very good. Tell me, are the ghosts bothering you now? _This_ is why they need to give even maroonbloods proper training, instead of hoping all the unstable ones will burn themselves out. It's just not strategically sound. But you're not unstable, Aradia; I would know if you were unstable. You just need a little bit of help. Wait by the door while I get my things, and we'll go have Earth coffee and talk about it, all right?"

Aradia started when Aranea let her go, but she obeyed without another word. Aranea leaned down to murmur in Terezi's ear. "She's a wreck, but I'm keeping her contained so she doesn't punch a hole in the station's hull and kill us all. I haven't had a challenge like this in fifty sweeps," she added brightly, and took Terezi's case notes with her when she left.

And that left Rose all alone, Egbert having slunk from the courtblock with his tail between his legs. 

"Lalonde," Terezi said. "I think you think you have _gravitas_. Someone must have told you so very early in your career! But I want you to know that whoever it was, they were lying to you."

"We should get out of here," Rose said. "Get a drink. I found the most awful bar, and you would fit right in. Besides." She slid her arm around Terezi's waist, and was rewarded with a cane to the stomach; she let go, laughing. "You want to know what Sollux has been up to, don't you?"

*

TA: yeah yeah ii've already depo2iited your payment. aa'2 miiraculou2ly uncrazy 2elf ii2 2hiippiing out iin a 2pare berth of thii2 mii2erable over2iized 2loop ii have two push, and the heire22 know2 your name a2 the human 2he 2aw beat terezii pyrope wiith her own two eye2.  
TA: and tz ii2 a2 nut2 a2 ever.  
TA: good work team. happy endiing2 accomplii2hed. what more could you po22iibly want from me.  
TT: Goodness, you must be the life of the helmsman parties.  
TT: I have a favor to ask of you.  
TT: A small one. A boon, really.  
TA: 2hoot.  
TT: I need you to run a search for me.  
TA: 2ure, no problem. ii thought you needed me two hurl 2omeone iintwo the heart of a 2tar or 2omethiing.  
TT: You'll be the first person I call! But it's nothing like that. I just need you to find a troll kosher restaurant in this sector that also serves humans.  
TA: oh no.  
TT: Oh, yes.


End file.
